How I Got Pregnant (On the Arizona Woman's Health and Safety Act, and Other Absurdist Theater)

from by Fiona Chamness

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I read a banned book I watched the news
I went to a party I didn't wear shoes
I touched a girl I touched a nerve
I touched a boy I got what I deserve
I drank the Kool-Aid I drank the booze
I paid for dinner I paid my dues
I didn't get married in my christening dress
I thought about sex I thought about sex
My baby left my baby stayed
I'm 27 I'm in 7th grade
I'm in the basement I'm on TV
Said I was blind but now I see
I cursed my parents I cursed the Lord
I fucked a ghost on the bathroom floor
I didn't bleed I bled like hell
Didn't plant no seed didn't stem no cell
I was a stupid slut I had a PhD
I went to 3rd base got the 3rd degree
My baby's an anchor my body's a boat
My cunt's a butler lemme hang your coat
You can call me monster you can call me Mom
I birthed an army I birthed a bomb
I fell down the stairs I ran into the door
Don't ask what these bruises are down here for
I'm a heap of trash a precious pearl
I'm the Virgin Mary I'm a miracle girl
I didn't go to church I didn't go to church
I made love second got pregnant first
I'm in the stirrups I'm center stage
Centerfold I'm the opinion page
I'm radioactive I'm ready to blow
They say look at you I can see you glow


from Dispatches From the Well, released October 3, 2012



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Fiona Chamness Ann Arbor, Michigan

Fiona Chamness is a poet and songwriter from Ann Arbor, MI. She is coauthor, with Aimée Lê, of Feral Citizens, published in 2011 by Red Beard Press. She belongs to the poetry ensemble Ann Arbor Wordworks and two bands, Helicopter Parents and The Cutting Room Floor. She has performed poetry and music in Ann Arbor, Chicago, Oberlin, Hanover, Boston, St. Louis, Berkeley, and Sevilla, Spain. ... more

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